Category Archives: Soul

The Light of My World

 

Image by BaylieMarie

I sat in the front row and you were way in back.
I showed up late most days just to see your face.
It was the best part of my day; the ten seconds from the door to my seat,
When your eyes met mine and just for a time it was only you and me.
If you didn’t know it then, I’m sure you know it now.
I love you.
Some fifty years later and your eyes sparkle still.
Same as they did on the night of our kiss,
When we bailed on the prom and jumped on ol’ Route 66.

We were somewhere west of Santa Fe,
I’d stopped to pump gas into that rusted Bel Air.
With the grace of a dancer you slid to the back.
You knew I was watching, as I tried not to stare.
My back to the car, I finally couldn’t take it,
So I turned around and tapped on the glass.
You came to the window with a smile.
I was grinnin’ one back so hard it hurt,
Silently mesmerized by those beautiful eyes.
The spell was lifted as the window came down.
I put my hands to your cheeks as I bent to meet your eyes,
Which seemed to be giving light to the moon.
You licked those perfect lips and fluttered those long lashes.
I’m no Einstein, but I ain’t stupid.
One hand on your neck the other upon your chin
I swooped in and met those lips with mine.

For the longest time I wished it would’ve been better.
Not the kiss, the kiss was more than I could have asked for,
But the gas station wasn’t the most romantic setting.
Looking back now, I see there is nothing more real,
And nothing more romantic than that night.
My beat up car, the smell of the gas,
That little station lit by the moon.
Or was it your eyes.
Every time I filled up the car,
Every time you smelled that scent,
We were reminded of that magical night that faded straight into day.

I never wanted that kiss to end,
But we were driving with a purpose.
So I reluctantly pulled away,
A final kiss for both your eyelids.
I paid for the gas and grabbed some cokes,
Only to return to find you sleeping.
I had never seen you look so beautiful.
You mumbled something as I started the car.
I knew it was,
“I love you.”
But you claimed you said,
“Drive slow, you.”

If it was the latter I didn’t listen.
We had to hurry to make it by the morning.
I drank your coke too, but I really didn’t need them.
Just knowing your life was in my hands
Was enough to keep me going.
It was a long race, me against the dark.
I turned off the radio, careful not to wake you.
Left alone in my thoughts.
Left alone in your silence.
I learned a lot from you that night.
You didn’t need to be awake for me to see you could trust me.
The silence said it loud and clear.

You turned and faced me.
Eyes shut, but smiling.
Sweet dreams of me I suppose or maybe I’m just dreaming.
You or the road, my eyes couldn’t decide.
I caught them fixed one too many times on you.
With the gentlest of touch I ran my fingers through your hair,
And spoke softly till your head began to rise.
Sorry I had to wake you,
But I needed to share the thrill and excitement before we came to our senses.

We had left on a whim.
It was stupid and reckless, but we were young and in love,
Which seemed to make it okay.
It didn’t matter then,
‘Cause for all we knew there was only an us,
And a long road ahead.
The air was still, early in the morning.
Our headlights were all that could be seen.
So I turned them off to scare you and instead you looked in awe.
The moonlight was ethereal.
So many shadows, yet so much light.
An oxymoron that is hard to describe.
Mouths open, eyes wide, and I flipped the beams back on.
We turned to each other laughing, oh how ridiculous we must have looked.

Lucky for us we were the only ones for miles.
Maybe I’m just exaggerating, but at the time it seemed the world was ours.
Only you and me.
A bond of hands.
A bond of hearts.
Rubber to asphalt.
The darkness slowly drifting away.
The last few hours were a blur.
We exchanged tales of our past.
You recalled your first kiss in the 5th grade.
I reluctantly confessed my jealousy.
You kissed me quick to let me know I was the only one to feel those lips now.
You wanted more.
I definitely wanted more.
It took all my strength to keep pressing on.
Passing place after place I could’ve pulled over,
But we made do with our fingers intertwined.
We had plenty of time for making love in the years to come.

That night was a bonding of souls.
A meshing of personalities.
A foundation laid for a relationship that would last forever.
Something the night itself couldn’t do
As the glow of morning started shining through.
Right on time we made one last stop.
Gas station again, same old trick and I kissed you through the window of my car.
This time I returned with orange juice and some Little Debbies.

Back in the car and back on the road with Flagstaff to our back we headed north.
What was left of the night started fading fast,
So the first chance I got we pulled off the road.
A scenic overlook where the Bel Air slowed.
You grabbed the drinks and treats.
I grabbed the blanket covering the back seats.
Finally it was time to relax.
We laid on the hood with civilization to our backs.
We sipped.
We munched.
And we said our goodbyes to the night.

For a fool hearted plan, it was executed with expert precision.
Not a moment too soon that sliver of sun came crawling into view.
We watched as it rose on those big ol’ canyons,
Turning the sky into an array of colors.
Bringing to life the land in a way the moon could never do.
Your eyes opened wide.
Those golden rays of light beaming from you.
I knew it then that you brightened the world.
At least you did mine and you never ceased to bring that light into my life.

The years have passed faster than it seemed.
We lived, we loved, we dreamed.
Our kids have grown.
Our kids have kids.
Life moved on, but we didn’t miss a thing.
I tried so hard to preserve that night.
It was our spark, the match that lit the fire.
The fire that still burns in each of us.
I never could sell that damn car.
So after the kids moved out I spent most of my time
Meticulously restoring that Rusty Bel,
Hoping one day she’d ring like the beauty she never was.
Sure I finally got it looking good
And we spent most of our retirement cruising around,
But it was today that it truly shined
As we relived that adventure through the night.

So here we are.
One last time together, looking over those massive canyons.
One last sunrise.
One last hope that all this can bring back those memories.
It’s been a long night.
Especially for this old man.
Hard on my body.
Hard on my mind.
Watching you as I tell this tale.
Trying to convince myself I saw you smile.
It’s been a tough road to travel.
Not just what was left of ol’ Route 66.
I mean the one that took from you all those moments we had created,
But both roads have lead us to this point.
And now the time has finally come for us to watch the night disappear.
It made me wonder though, what will the sun do when you aren’t here.

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Insomnia Takes Over My Dream Journal: Part 2

Insomnia Takes Over My Dream Journal: Part 1

A Singing Dog and a Giving God

Can I really take a post from a Video of my Dog Barking to a discussion on God giving to you judging by what you give to others? We shall see!

I’ve owned a YouTube account since Dec. of 2006. I’ve put a number of videos on it since then…41 to be exact. Most of which consists of crappy live records of bands I’ve seen in concert and an array of video packages made for my Video I and Video II classes at Drury. A few short months after starting the account I posted a video of Jack Russell Terrier named Jackson. The video is 8 seconds in its entirety and shows my dog “singing” happy birthday while sitting on the lap of my step-grandpa. I still to this day get comments from both extremes. I get haters calling me an idiot for calling his barking singing and I get dog lovers telling me how he’s adorable.

Somewhere along the line I managed to find a good video to make it a response too and I now get over 5,000 hits a day on that video. If you’ve ever been on YouTube you’d see that two things are always popular: Sex and Animal…can only imagine the kind of YouTube fame Animal Sex would get you! Jokes…though I bet you could find that on YouTube. It was never my intention when posting this little clip of my dog for it to become so popular. I was just wanting to document our dog singing as the Happy Birthday song is his favorite.

Whether you post videos for your own enjoyment or the enjoyment of other’s you still want them to be seen. If you didn’t want them seen you’d leave them on your hard drive. So I was more than thrilled when I realized my video was approaching 500k views and Google contacted my email saying, “Hey, yo, we want to use you to make money and will even give you a little for helping us.” This Ad program Google runs is called GoogleAdsense and it allows you to post ads on your website, blog, or if you are lucky enough your YouTube videos.

At the time I didn’t think much of it. I agreed to the terms and they emailed me some registration stuff I didn’t bother filling out. Several months later I remembered about it and decided to log in and see if anything had happened. Low and behold I had over 100 bucks sitting in my account! I was shocked as I didn’t think this was actually going to be something that could make me money. Needless to say I immediately went through the necessary steps to have the check get mailed to me. I’ve had it setup since October of ’09 and I’m not bringing in ridiculous amounts of money or anything, but it’s usually enough to cover my auto insurance!

Rafe Quit Talking and SHOW ME THE VIDEO!!!

Now after watching that you’ll notice I’ve decided to start donating the money made off that video to a local Animal Shelter. I never expected to be making this money and after a chat with a friend one night she had mentioned donating the money and I thought it was a brilliant idea. The money has helped me the last few months, but I’m not making enough for it to be a huge impact on my income, so why not give it to someone in need. After an unlikely run in at a local event I met some people who had just started up an Autumn Winds Animal Rescue & Sanctuary that was taking in dogs and cats off of “Death Row” from local area Kill Shelters. This month is going to be my first month donating my check and I’ve chosen them.

After talking with my sister on Skype last about how I was donating I decided I would do a blog about the video and the nature of giving. In the Bible there are many parables and verses about giving.

Luke 6:38 “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

I mentioned in my first post that I believe the main thing Jesus came here for was to show us Love! And what better way to do so then to give to those in need. The Bible says to give a tithe to the church. I did this for awhile, but I’ve been traveling so much the last few years that I’ve been giving in a different way. On Valentine’s Day a few years ago I started donating to an organization called Christian Foundation for Children & Aging.

This post isn’t meant to be a way for me to brag about the things I’m doing, but to encourage others to do the same. As previously mentioned I believe that if you give, God will give to you in return. This isn’t just a Christian belief…some people may know of this ideal as Karma! Whatever you wanna call it I think only good things can come from donating your time, money, ideas, etc to a cause you care about.

And I’ll finish this ridiculously long post with a thought given to my sister by her pastor. “If your cup is already full then God has nowhere to put more…so give and there’s room to receive, and God might actually see that you have out grown your cup and need a new, bigger cup.” Our God is a Giving God. Give and you shall receive.

Please, comment, elaborate, argue…this doesn’t have to end here…though it probably should, I apologize for such a long post. When I write I ramble!

The Pursuit of Happiness, Art, Music, Photography, Film, Poetry, and Spirituality

Exclaim: You’re Alive!

I’ve chosen this title for my blog as I hope to post on the many reasons Life is good and I think we should share our joys of being Alive. Exclaim, shout, share your joys of life for everyone to…well, Enjoy!

In this blog I’ll be focusing on a few things that really put a smile on my face.

Art: I’ve always had a love for art in any fashion. I don’t practice any Fine Arts very often these days, but will do some sketching occasionally. If I blog about Art it will most likely be about another Artist I find interesting. I’ve got a lot of my photography on a great artist site called Bluecanvas. If you are an artist I highly recommend you setting up an account on this site. Here’s my profile.
http://www.bluecanvas.com/rafe

Music: There are so many flavors of music and I find myself enjoying quite an eclectic mix of tunes. There is nothing that makes me feel the emotion more than the simplicity of a passionate singer strumming with a guitar. I’m a big supporter of local music and tend to stay away from the Radio. Not that I don’t enjoy some of the music found there…I just find a particular joy in discovering music that’s not just handed to me via mainstream outlets. I might end up doing a Song of the week or Band of the week thing at some point. You can also expect a review of any new music I acquire. If you are curious as to what music I’m into you can check out my Last.fm profile. If you are a music lover like myself then look into getting a Last.fm account if you don’t already have one. It posts (they call this scrobble – you download a program that shows what songs you listen to) all the songs you listen to onto your profile and gives you stats like: Most Listened to Bands/Songs etc. I’ve had an account since Sept. 2006 and have scrobbled over 30,000 songs. Another cool feature is the Musical Compatibility. Go to any user’s profile and it will tell you how compatible your two music tastes are…fun to see how you compare with your friends. Here’s my Last.fm profile.
http://www.last.fm/Prafeston

Photography: Maybe it’s the easy way out, but my love of Art shifted at some point around the time I graduated high school to Photography. I’ve always thought I’m a creative dude, but in some instances I’ve had trouble expressing my ideas on paper or other forms. I have always had an eye for beauty, form, positive & negative space, and the unique aspects of life seen through our eyes. Photography has given me an easy way to capture these things. I recently started a Photo A Day Challenge and will post an update on a weekly basis with photos from the week. I’ll probably have a random post here and there about photo related topics and/or ideas.

Film: In college I was suggested by a friend to try out a Video class and I have thoroughly enjoyed making and editing anything and everything. I’ve posted many of these videos on my YouTube Channels. I’m hoping to start doing a bit more Video Blogging so you can expect to see those show up here as well. Who doesn’t love a good Movie? If I watch one I find particularly interesting or worth talking about I’ll give it a review.
http://www.youtube.com/Prafeston – Mostly Live Band Videos and College Projects
http://www.youtube.com/IamRafe – My new Blogging Channel

Poetry: Being a big music fan I have grown to love poetry and lyric writing. It’s not something I do A LOT, but I do like to write occasionally. I don’t have any formal training in the area so I feel like my poems lack structure at times, but I have found I have a way with words and rhythm that it seems to just come naturally to me. You can look forward to me posting old poems occasionally and new ones here and there.

Spirituality: I grew up in a Christian (Presbyterian) home and God has always been a part of my life. I’ve gone on quite the Spiritual jounrey since I was in high school. I’m very open minded about Christianity and Spirituality in general. As with all aspects of my life I’m a big monkey see monkey do or learn by example kind of guy and this has carried over into my spiritual life. I believe Jesus’ main messages were Love. I don’t push religion on anyone and I don’t think I have the biblical knowledge to even do so, but I do believe I can be an example of Christ by showing his love in all that I do…at least I try. I have fallen away from God some in the past few years. I’m a little unsure of where I am in life and where I want to go. I travel a lot and haven’t gone to church on a regular basis. It would be nice to find some time to do some reading of the Bible and get in the habit of praying again. Should I read something worth writing about or think of something spiritually related it might make it’s way into a blog.

Conclusion: I hope to keep this blog going as I’ve tried many times in the past to write on a regular basis and it just hasn’t happened. If you like what you read please subscribe and help me feel like I’m writing for a reason. Look forward to lots of posts on all aspects of my life, but in particular the ones which I have mentioned above. Art, Music, Photography, Film, Poetry, and Spirituality. Feel free to suggest a topic for me to write about as well. I’m open to any ideas. Get used to lots of Exclamation points! Lots of Randomly capitalized Words! And Lots of Ellipsis… 🙂